In Memoriam
by kaibasgirlx
Summary: During the rest of the year, he could distract himself, but on this day, he remembers, and he drinks, and he murmurs the names of those lost, who'd been forgotten in the dusty tombs of the archives.


**In Memoriam**

The night was etched all too clearly into their memories. No one spoke of the date as it steadily approached. There was no marker on the calendar to indicate its significance. But then, they never needed a reminder. It was burned physically into their souls, along with a mask that taunted them endlessly with its existence.

They each had a different way of dealing with the memories that came, like a steady river that built up into a tide, until it burst forth like a broken dam, along with the torrent of emotions that swirled inside it; the hatred, the betrayal, the confusion, the grief…

Hiyori would become more easily irritated and louder, with a new record for swearing set each year. Shinji, when he wasn't taking the abuse Hiyori was dishing out, would sit quietly on the roof, staring up at the sky and into nothingness. Lisa would keep to herself, nose buried deeply into another magazine, though it was anyone's guess if she was actually seeing the words on the page, as her thoughts would stray, as they often did, to the drunken lout of a captain she used to serve under. Hacchigen would sit quietly in the training field, playing around with rudimentary kido spells, as he remembered his days in the Kido Corps, where he would often train new recruits in the art of creating barriers. Rose would take a long stroll outside, or sometimes he would find solace in playing the piano. Love would gaze at the passing scenery, listening to music that reflected his morose mood.

Kensei liked to sit outside, high on a ledge, a bottle of sake beside him. He did his best to pick the hardest to reach spots, since Mashiro, the only one who didn't seem affected by what had happened to them, liked to nag him, as the general moody and mournful air affected her cheerful nature quite adversely.

But tonight, Kensei was a man with an agenda, and he would do without Mashiro's pestering. Out of all the Visoreds, he was probably the one hit hardest. Shinji might have been betrayed by his lieutenant, but Tousen had killed nearly all of those who were closest to him, save Mashiro, and he had seen their dead bodies falling before being struck down himself.

He poured the first cup of sake, raising it in the air like a toast, as he drank in honor of Shinobu Eishima, the subordinate closest to him after Mashiro, and a wonderful friend.

The second glass went to Gizaeimon Todo, whom he'd unwittingly blamed for the betrayal, before he'd keeled over with Tousen's blade slicing his chest.

And on it went, as he drank to Heizo Kasaki, to the fallen soldiers and the vanguard, who'd been cruelly experimented on. It had been nearly 100 years, yet he still felt the crushing guilt and responsibility to those men who were his subordinates, and whom he'd failed to protect. He was their captain, they were his soldiers; he was their leader, they were his friends. As such, he couldn't forget about them, probably _would never_ forget about them, and he would bear the burden of their deaths upon his shoulders for as long as he was still alive. During the rest of the year, he could distract himself, but on this day, he remembers, and he drinks, and he murmurs the names of those lost, who'd been forgotten in the dusty tombs of the archives.

To Eishima, Todo, Kasaki, those men who'd lost their lives the night he gained a double identity. It was a few moments, as he drank his sake in silence, before he became aware of approaching footsteps.

"Kensei?" Mashiro poked her head through the doorway. The former 9th Division Captain raised the half empty bottle to his lips.

"What do you want, Mashiro?"

The once lieutenant went to sit down beside him. He eyed her as she gave a sigh. "Everyone is so gloomy and depressed! No one wants to do anything, I hate this day!"

"We all do," he responded calmly, taking another swig.

She drew her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. "It's not fair," she pouted.

They sat in silence like that for a few moments, as Kensei finished whatever was left of the alcohol. He eyed her, surprised that she could remain silent for so long, before he asked the question burning on his mind for some time now.

"Mashiro, isn't there anything you regret leaving behind when you became a Visored? Wasn't there anything you lost? How can you stay so happy and cheerful all the time?"

Mashiro glanced at him questioningly. "What do you mean? I'm not into all that heavy, depressed stuff like you are, Kensei."

The former captain stared at her for a moment, before turning his head away. "Tch. Never mind."

Mashiro said nothing for a few moments, as she stared at her knees, before finally speaking. "There's nothing I really regret leaving behind, because you're here," she said quietly.

He stared at her in surprise, before he understood what she meant.

Yes, she did have him, and he had her, and that, he realized, was something unique only to them. Out of all the other Visoreds, they were the only pair of captain and lieutenant that had remained together. Unlike Lisa, who'd been left to wonder why her captain never tried to look for her, or Hacchi, who never saw Tessai, even though the latter had been exiled along with them to the human world. They maintained their relationship, and perhaps that made all the difference in the world.

He stood up, the pressure on his shoulders lifting slightly; as he realized that he had not failed everyone completely. He held out a hand for the former lieutenant to take.

"C'mon, Mashiro. You're right, this place _is_ depressing. Let's go grab a beer."

Mashiro blinked in surprise, before smiling as she grabbed hold of her captain's hand, and allowed him to pull her to her feet. "Sure. But I don't like beer."

"Then we'll get you something else."

"Okay!"

They walked down the road together, side by side, just as they always had since they'd first become captain and lieutenant. Kensei glanced at the green-haired girl that he'd known for so long, silently vowing that he would never let her down, so long as he was still alive to protect her.

_The End_


End file.
